Times: they are a changing…..
Change can be scary at the best of times. It brings us out of our comfort zone and shakes us up. When that change is out of our control that is scarier. We do not know what is going to happen from day to day at the moment. The news is feeding us with new cases of the virus daily. New measures are being taken to reduce the spread. We are self isolating to protect ourselves and our family. Amidst all the change and challenging times how do we manage our emotional needs and ensure we get them met in balance. Challenges and opportunities can go hand in hand. We have been given the opportunity to stop rushing. This can be a challenge in itself however especially if our daily routine has been shaken up which for most of us it has. So how do we embrace this change and turn it into an opportunity. First let’s look at our emotional needs and how we can get them met in balance during this challenging time. Then let’s look at some ideas on how to use this time positively to help us stay grounded and well emotionally, mentally and physically.
OUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS
Emotional need for security – ensure you wash your hands, keep surfaces clean and stay at home if at all possible.
Emotional need for control – make a new routine that you can stick to, or keep to your old routine in your home environment. Avoid social media scrolling which can make you feel out of control. Control what you can and avoid what you cannot.
Emotional need for attention – stay in touch with friends and family by phone, preferably talking rather than texting if you can.
Emotional need for community – organise a Facebook group, Zoom call or Skype. If you are in a club like a book club, tennis club, work club, try to arrange a weekly on line meet up to stay connected.
Emotional need for connection – similar to community and attention, stay connected via online platforms or use the phone to talk.
Emotional need for privacy – agree a space at home where you can use for time alone. Limit your screen time to avoid overwhelm of what is happening outside. Try for at least 10 minutes a day alone time.
Emotional need for achievement – read something you have been meaning to read but haven’t had the time. There are a lot of free on line courses being offered so perhaps now is the time to try something new.
Emotional need for meaning and purpose – help someone who needs it, perhaps offer to do some shopping for an elderly neighbour, reach out to those in need if it is safe to do so.
Emotional need for status – start something new, like an online community or a blog, you may then get recognition for this which will help get your emotional need met.
These are just some ideas for you all and we are sure you will use your wonderful resources, such as your imagination to come up with other ways of getting your needs met.
HERE ARE SOME TOOLS TO HELP YOU DURING THESE UNCERTAIN TIMES
7/11 Breathing – Anxiety can be high at times like this which triggers our amygdala (emotional brain) and stops us from thinking rationally. A simple way of lowering emotional arousal is to use a conscious breathing technique. The one we favour is 7/11 breathing which is safe and extremely effective. Breathe in through the nose for the count of 7, your stomach should inflate like a balloon. Breathe out through the nose for the count of 11, your stomach should deflate. This deep diaphramatic breathing switches on our parasympathetic nervous system helping us relax. Practice for at least 5 minutes to feel the benefit, or anytime you feel triggered.
Walking – go for a walk daily, even just for 10 minutes, preferably somewhere in nature. Being in nature naturally helps us feel better by increasing dopamine (the feel good hormone) and decreasing cortisol (the stress hormone) which may be high during this time of uncertainty. You could even try 7/11 breathing while walking to make it even more beneficial.
Water – stay hydrated to help your brain and body. The brain is made up of about 90% water and can become dehydrated easily which will result in feeling foggy or unfocused. The recommended amount is 2 litres a day, if you are doing vigorous exercise you may need more.
Creativity – now is a great time to spend doing something you love, or starting a new hobby. Reading, gardening, baking, cooking, dancing (turn on some music and dance in the kitchen!), singing, knitting, drawing, painting….the list is endless. Perhaps even that jigsaw you’ve been meaning to do for so long. Anything you enjoy doing that takes your focus off the unfolding events will benefit your mental health.
Laugh – although this may seem counter intuitive, laughing is a great way of helping us feel better. Watch a funny movie, contact a friend who makes you laugh, watch comedies on TV, reminisce about happier times, read a funny book or whatever makes you laugh.
These tips may seem simple yet at times of stress we can forget the simple things that help us feel better. We have the tools and resources to get through this safely, we are human we are used to surviving. Help yourself thrive during this time by staying well, safe and using your resources wisely to get your emotional needs met.
Above all else remember ‘THIS TOO SHALL PASS’.